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comment My story passes in choppy blocks - how can I fix it?
@MonicaCellio oooooh! thank you for that. You learn something new every day. :)
Jun
30
comment Writing and proofreading a book in English - non-native speaker
Might be a duplicate: writers.stackexchange.com/questions/2529/… Or try Critique Circle, which is free: critiquecircle.com
Jun
30
comment Should I ever break up a long line of dialogue in different paragraphs?
Related, may be useful: writers.stackexchange.com/questions/16226/… and writers.stackexchange.com/questions/6977/…
Jun
30
comment My story passes in choppy blocks - how can I fix it?
I went into my own user panel. I found the link to my answer, clicked on it, and copied it. I was able to do the same for a random answer of yours, so you can do the same for anyone else.
Jun
29
comment in years that vs. in years when
I'd say "during years when," but this is for English SE.
Jun
28
comment Synonym for 'overly obvious'?
Hi, and welcome to Writers. Requests for single words are not on-topic for us, but they are at English SE. I have flagged the mods to migrate your question.
Jun
26
comment Narrating something that happened between chapters as a flashback in a present-tense novel
Works for me. Just make sure you have some kind of time-stamp or other indicator so we know when we are.
Jun
26
comment Writing a Romance novel, starts in present but after two chapters the flashback starts
Aren't The Notebook, Atonement, and Titanic all structured this way? (I haven't read or seen any of them.)
Jun
25
comment Should I completely eliminate passive voice
@what The sentence has a subject, absolutely. I was saying that the sentence does not describe who or what is acting. And I liked your answer about where the focus of the sentence is; that's a great way to decide which voice to use.
Jun
25
comment Should I completely eliminate passive voice
@what In that sentence, you're making a prediction: This event is likely to happen. Also, since electrocution is not something as common as, say, being the person who makes the coffee, I infer that electrocution has already been introduced and given context (e.g., X would have to get hit by lightning or mess around with a power generator). So either X itself is the actor (X plays with a generator) or the weather is the actor (lightning strikes X). Previous context would have supplied the actor, so I think it's okay to skip for that sentence.
Jun
23
comment How to avoid repeating the adjective “corresponding”?
1) try "respective." 2) requests for single words are off-topic for us, but okay at English SE.
Jun
23
comment Rare list of character archetypes and psychology?
Will this list be written on a cambric shirt with no seams nor needlework?
Jun
22
comment Can Bridging Conflict Work When the Answer is Known?
I didn't either. Google is our friend! :)
Jun
22
comment Can Bridging Conflict Work When the Answer is Known?
Just to clarify, dramatic irony isn't just "The reader knows something the character doesn't," but that what the reader knows makes what the character does or does not know ironic. If A loves B, B receives an anonymous love letter, and B wonders who it's from, that's not dramatic irony. If B receives the letter and trashes it, assuming it's from C, when the reader knows it's from A, that's dramatic irony.
Jun
21
comment I need to smash a wrist in a grocery store
Hi, and welcome to Writers. This is "what to write," which is off-topic for us, since it's local to your story and unlikely to help anyone else in the future.
Jun
21
comment How to make a character that doesn't speak about himself relatable?
@Reed I disagree; I don't think you have to have names of a particular culture, language, or religion to have relatable characters. There's a thread going on right now asking how to make non-human characters relatable, so "non-white non-christian non-english" should be a non-concern.
Jun
19
comment Is the following deus-ex-machina? If so, should I remove it?
Excellent explanation of how a deus ex machina works in practice.
Jun
18
comment Is the following deus-ex-machina? If so, should I remove it?
@AlexandroChen That having been said, if you are setting up a convincing reason for the ASC club member to be in the class, then while it might be convenient, it's not necessarily a contrivance (where someone is arbitrarily somewhere for the sake of the plot, not because s/he has an organic reason to be there). So if your ASC person is a rounded character with reason to be in the class, I think you're okay.
Jun
18
comment Is the following deus-ex-machina? If so, should I remove it?
@AlexandroChen Two things: 1) It's deus with an S, from the Greek for god. 2) Deus ex machina means "god in the machine." It's a specific term from classic Greek tragedy, when a god character would descend from the roof at the end of a play inside a mechanical box to rescue the heroes from an otherwise hopeless situation. Having your ASC member be in Li-Mei's class could be either too convenient or a contrivance. It's happening at the beginning of the story and puts events in motion. It's not really a deus ex machina.
Jun
18
comment Non-human protagonist - Good, bad, or up to the writing?
I will buy your book for that scene alone.