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seen Jul 22 '13 at 18:09

Dec
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awarded  Notable Question
Apr
14
awarded  Popular Question
Jul
7
revised Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
added 6 characters in body
Jul
7
revised Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
added 35 characters in body
Jul
7
revised Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
deleted 5 characters in body
Jul
7
comment Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
Or how about, "The more I reject the demon, however, the more its pertinacity grows with unyielding resolve."
Jul
6
awarded  Commentator
Jul
6
comment Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
Do you think using the word "appear" would thus appear stronger? I re-edited the entire paragraph to bring it to present tense FYI. Thanks for all your help so far! I know I seem bad, but believe me, the rest of the story isn't bad like this, I'm just having trouble in this section.
Jul
6
revised Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
deleted 2 characters in body
Jul
6
comment Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
Do you think using the word "appear" would thus appear stronger?
Jul
6
revised Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
deleted 2 characters in body
Jul
6
comment Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
I decided to keep "seem to" in the sentence because the narrator doesn't exactly know if the demon pertinacity is indeed increasing or has always been this way towards him, which is explained in the paragraphs before this one, as of course, in story form.
Jul
6
revised Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
deleted 7 characters in body
Jul
6
revised Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
deleted 2 characters in body
Jul
6
revised Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
deleted 11 characters in body
Jul
6
comment Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
Yes, the narrator is rejecting what the demon is trying to infuse in him. The narrator is rejecting from the demon all that is forgiveness and tolerance. I know its odd to make a demon something other than what its meaning defines, but the narrator views anything as good as evil, therefor the demon is not really a demon to the reader, only to the narrator. Pertinacity I believe, is used correctly given the circumstances, as the demon is stubborn in his ways and it is directed towards the narrator. I guess removing "for me" would make it more clear. Thoughts?
Jul
6
revised Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
added 2 characters in body
Jul
6
revised Does this sound like a good description of someone falling asleep due exhaustion? Anything I can do to make it sound better?
edits
Jul
6
revised Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
edits
Jul
6
revised Does this sound like someone at the end of their conflict with emotions? Please help
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