113 reputation
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bio website shlomifish.org
location Tel Aviv, Israel
age
visits member for 1 year, 7 months
seen Apr 17 '13 at 7:12

Mar
20
comment Best way to emphasise the greenness of the fields in spring in comparison with summer
@JohnM.Landsberg : I agree with what you said about emulating the style of other authors etc. and I borrowed many memes, phrases and concepts from works of fiction and non-fiction that I admire. Nevertheless, what I meant to say was that the style Robusto pointed me to was inappropriate for the story in question, and was not very me. I probably didn't say it too well. Cheers, and thanks. You guys rock! ♥ ☺
Mar
20
comment Best way to emphasise the greenness of the fields in spring in comparison with summer
@Robusto : thanks for your message. My style has changed in the past, and I asked about one technical aspect that seemed wrong in my English version, while I knew how to say it in Hebrew. In any case, I've been emulating the style of other authors in the Enemy (primarily Kafka and the character of Joey from the Television show, Friends) and in my subsequent stories - shlomifish.org/humour/stories - which have a very different style than the one in The Enemy, as appropriate to them. I was looking to get over a technicality, not completely revamp the existing style.
Mar
17
comment Best way to emphasise the greenness of the fields in spring in comparison with summer
Commenting further, because the enter key did its worst, I have somewhat different style in my other stories and screenplays (see shlomifish.org/humour ), but I always try to not be overly picturesque like is the case with your excerpt.
Mar
17
comment Best way to emphasise the greenness of the fields in spring in comparison with summer
@JohnM.Landsberg : thanks for trying to recast the story, but I prefer my style in this case because the story The Enemy AHIHTFI is surreal (possibly even what people may qualify as post-Modern or Kafkaian) and also was the first real novella I wrote so I'm allowed to be a little unprofessional, right?
Mar
17
comment Best way to emphasise the greenness of the fields in spring in comparison with summer
Hi, thanks for taking the time to respond. The problem is that I'm trying to develop my own style (which is different from story to story) rather than emulate that of other poets and authors (of which there are too many for me to read, and I'm not too fast a reader in English, and also think there is such a thing as knowing too much, and doing too little with it).
Mar
17
comment Best way to emphasise the greenness of the fields in spring in comparison with summer
I ended up going with "exert its influence" so thanks. Maybe a rephrasing will be better, but "exert its influence" is good enough. Regarding the other comments given in this thread - thanks to everybody who replied.