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bio website lokiie1984.deviantart.com
location Wyoming
age 30
visits member for 1 year, 10 months
seen Apr 8 '13 at 2:55

Mar
15
comment Does this qualify as a prelude or prologue?
Yea i just meant the hook would be in a different spot. Would that up there hook? Lead you to want to keep flipping pages? Assuming grammar and everything was taken care of.
Mar
15
comment Does this qualify as a prelude or prologue?
To answer your first question, Takira is the main character of the book. The story revolves around her and Thor entirely. As for your second, this would also serve as a slight reveal at the end. Doge serves as her mentor and the main villain, which that part could come later through a flash back i think. I actually have an idea for the spot it could go in too. As for Takira herself i'll give you one of her quotes. "Besides what do you think barbarian families do when they aren’t out raiding? Fighting and killing one another is just another Saturday afternoon…"
Mar
15
comment Does this qualify as a prelude or prologue?
I had heard that the prologue should pose a "super question" that the over all plot would answer. I assume it should also serve as the hook since it would take the place of the first chapter. I'm just not sure if this would perform that task or not.
Feb
28
comment What type of writing would this fall under?
I have come to the conclusion that it is a "focused stream of consciousness." Where as (from what i read on wiki) the typical stream is bouncing all over the place. This one is steering the reader to one final conclusion.
Feb
27
comment What type of writing would this fall under?
Also interesting. I had to google it and the example text they list sure sounds like my brain. Even if a magazine would never take it, at least I'm learning something out of it lol. Thanks for the answer Lauren, i might have to look into some magazines for it, whats the worst they could say? "Its not for us." Or maybe "Burn it!"
Feb
27
comment What type of writing would this fall under?
Interesting, seems like i stumbled into something unique. Or maybe just something so grammatically wrong that its right. I am pretty sure that its in the second point of view. However the style seems to be what confuses me (and other people.)
Feb
19
comment Flashback or dream as a means of hinting at more going on than meets the eye
If i did put it in all italics would i keep thoughts in italics or put em in normal type? During it i have her think something about the guy she is with (her employer.) I like the italics idea though, that way there is no question its a dream, or what ever you would want to call it. Anyway once I'm done i will post it as a new question (i assume that's what i should do, sorry not entirely sure on this site) and see if it works out. Thanks for your input too by the way.
Feb
19
comment Flashback or dream as a means of hinting at more going on than meets the eye
Let me give you a short explanation of what i have in mind. Bare with me though, as i have a harder time explaining my ideas then i do just writing them. She is dreaming a memory, like say the last ten minutes. I would describe what she sees, burning homes, charred flesh and what not. I planned to have her shoot some one that was fleeing, then the person that she is with would turn on her and then things she hears in the real world would start to filter though. Thing this person says in the dream would actually be what she is hearing while she sleeps. Then as he attacks, she wakes up.
Feb
16
comment Am i using “he/she” too often during action scenes?
That is another of my issues, i feel like I'm using "Giants" far too often but I'm not really sure what else i could use. I read through the excerpt a good four times before i found the "one" you referred to... kind of made me laugh. Anyway thanks for the tips i will be sure change those around.
Feb
13
comment How to have a character be nameless for the first few paragraphs of a book?
I would link to what i wrote so you guys could see what i mean but I'm not sure if this site allows for something like that. Anyway thanks for all the help, it was quite useful.
Feb
13
comment How to have a character be nameless for the first few paragraphs of a book?
I managed to make it work using he/him/his and then later on down the line when he meets the other character i had him mention the nickname his mother used to get his attention. Like Lauren said yesterday, i wanted the nickname to be something that wouldn't work as a name. In this case Number Two, that way the other character felt compelled to give him a real name, whether he liked it or not. However, i agree with Jays answer too, thankfully the culture that he is from only plays a roll in the very beginning, and helping to shape his personality of course.
Feb
12
comment How to have a character be nameless for the first few paragraphs of a book?
I think for now I'm going to experiment with "Number Two." I plan to avoid using it as much as i can, other then a small explanation stating that it was what his parents referred to him as growing up. He was the second born so it makes sense.
Feb
12
comment How to have a character be nameless for the first few paragraphs of a book?
I do plan to use those quite a bit, i just figured he would need to be called something to start with. I mean i cant open with "He walked through the jungle." Or at least my brain doesn't want to work in that way. But as Lauren Ipsum suggested below i think i can come up with a "filler title" to start it off.
Feb
12
comment How to have a character be nameless for the first few paragraphs of a book?
Sorry i should have mentioned that the plan is for it to be in third person view, and be a novel. Whether it actually gets that far remains to be seen. I like how you put your answer though. I think a place holder name or title would work; his character is the quiet brooding type so maybe something along the lines of "Quiet One" sounds kind of lame but something like that. A personality trait, or maybe a reference to an animal that has a similar demeanor. Thanks for the answer, i think it will help me get it of the ground.
Feb
12
comment How to have a character be nameless for the first few paragraphs of a book?
Thanks for the edit, it was kind of a jumble. I will be sure to read through those; I might have to just use a narrative or something to describe it. Anyway thanks for the help.