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visits member for 1 year, 8 months
seen Jan 9 '13 at 16:12

Nov
16
comment Is there a description of location required in intense moments of the story like in a love story
Can you please explain point number three further with an example.
Nov
15
comment Is there a description of location required in intense moments of the story like in a love story
I am getting your point Lexi. The settings are for the readers to connect with the character and not with me. That's right. I shall come up with better and less subtle setting. Thanks.
Nov
15
comment Is the opening of this detective short story gripping enough to read on? Can it be shortened?
Indeed this helped XORGate :-) The way you put it seems to be more alive. I shall work on your suggestions. Thanks
Nov
13
comment Is the opening of this detective short story gripping enough to read on? Can it be shortened?
I am so grateful I came to stackexchange.com to have my work vetted by people like you guys. Thanks a lot to you for the invaluable suggestions. Two things I have learned is make the text crispy and mind the tenses. I shall implement this with immediate effect. Please enlightenment me if there is anything more to be learned from the above extract. What kind of person do 'Amit' seem like to you? I just want to see how close does he look to you as the way I see him.
Nov
13
comment Is there a description of location required in intense moments of the story like in a love story
...The characters here had a lovely relation and had to separate due to family pressure as they were from different religion, so the articles or anything from the room is hard to relate from the past. Would you please suggest me further on this. For the second point; I am not able to understand how can the dying flowers or peeling paints etc relate to the man's withering feeling? That would be exactly opposite of what he has been doing, keeping himself out of any negative/sad/devastated kind of feelings. Moreover I am trying to show the gap through their actions & emotions. Pls suggest frthr
Nov
13
comment Is there a description of location required in intense moments of the story like in a love story
Thanks Lexi for your valuable suggestions. I have put in the idea of well ventilated house to show she still remembers what he liked. And about the articles in the room. The conversation includes them in the later parts to show that he is not materialistic and is content with whatever he has. He has an NGO (which I have had introduced in the starting parts of the story), that works for underprivileged children and even the house is used occasionally for them. I wanted to implicitly show the spiritual side of the male character...
Nov
13
comment Is the opening of this detective short story gripping enough to read on? Can it be shortened?
Thanks J.R. i got your point.
Nov
10
comment Is the opening of this detective short story gripping enough to read on? Can it be shortened?
Thanks to you too.
Nov
10
revised Is there a description of location required in intense moments of the story like in a love story
added 2415 characters in body
Nov
10
revised Is the opening of this detective short story gripping enough to read on? Can it be shortened?
added 76 characters in body
Nov
10
comment Is the opening of this detective short story gripping enough to read on? Can it be shortened?
Does this opening look too short or too quick or can even this be shortened further removing any unnecessary description like 'not giving him a lift to office', which i feel can be avoided but I am not sure.
Nov
10
asked Is there a description of location required in intense moments of the story like in a love story
Nov
10
awarded  Editor
Nov
10
revised Is the opening of this detective short story gripping enough to read on? Can it be shortened?
I have now tried to be more specific on what i am looking for as answers.
Nov
10
asked Is the opening of this detective short story gripping enough to read on? Can it be shortened?