450 reputation
210
bio website nickbedford.com
location Brisbane, Australia
age 26
visits member for 3 years, 8 months
seen May 8 '12 at 5:12

I'm a photographer, drummer and programmer from Brisbane, Australia. I also dabble in writing here and there and have been working slowly on a science fiction novel. It's a low priority right now.


May
8
comment Potential confusion: referring to home planet as “Earth”
Thanks for the extra cent :)
May
20
comment Vision/dream as an effective opening?
Thanks. I can see why it doesn't work well, despite the roughness of my post's version. I think if I'm going to do this vision (given to him by this alien), it has to be connected to what he's doing. Perhaps it's a few pages in that it actually happens, and as a result he ends up in a hospital for apparently passing out, or something.
May
20
comment Vision/dream as an effective opening?
The passage was rushed and a little unthought out, I'll admit. I agree, it needs context, and it also needs a lot of work in itself. Perhaps he's "on the job" (whatever that may be) and the vision happens, interrupting him that has repercussions, only for it to happen again later.
May
20
comment Vision/dream as an effective opening?
Admittedly it was a rushed attempt, but I see your point about putting the vision in context, not to mention some inconsistent elements.
May
19
comment Designing a book
Paint.NET is not exactly the best tool for creating books.
Apr
15
comment Potential confusion: referring to home planet as “Earth”
Thanks Malvolio. It is first draft material, but I do see how the your suggestion on how to describe such things flows better. While I didn't initially ask for critique per se, anything you can, please do! New writer here.
Apr
15
comment Indirect Narration Style
It was pretty clear to me that this is about writing...
Apr
14
comment Potential confusion: referring to home planet as “Earth”
The constellation in which Messier 33 (the real galaxy) is located is Triangulum. An early name of the constellation was Sicilia, because Ceres, patron goddess of Sicily, was claimed to have begged Jupiter that the island be placed in the heavens. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangulum
Apr
13
comment Tools for science-based world building?
Big +1 right there. I think the best way is to carve the surroundings out of your character's experiences. Is it cold? Just say "It was cold, a frosty bite to the morning air." rather than, "It was a cold climate. The land masses to the east caused low pressure systems to bring dry cold air from the east, precipating snow and freezing water into ice during the planet's Winter." BORING.
Apr
13
comment Tools for science-based world building?
I think there is also the point that your characters may not know about weather system. It may "snowy, but warm further north" and that's all the reader may care to know.
Apr
13
comment Tools for science-based world building?
Carve the surroundings around the story you are telling, though this "scientifically valid" information may be handy.
Apr
13
comment Potential confusion: referring to home planet as “Earth”
Thanks Craig. I used one of the Latin words for "new" to name this newly discovered planet. I may expand a little more on their relation. Solum is the word for "ground", "land", "earth" even. For the colonisers, it's significant, and maybe I should briefly explain why it was called Solum, (in reverance to Earth).
Apr
13
comment Potential confusion: referring to home planet as “Earth”
They have lobster :) P.S. Can you guess where the name comes from?
Apr
13
comment Potential confusion: referring to home planet as “Earth”
Thanks. I think the general idea with how I'm setting up my "future" is that the humans still have a natural tie to their original planet, even if most don't ever visit it. Perhaps the issues we face today had been overcome and it's now a intergalactic "core" planet. But as far as naming this New Earth goes, I've been convinced to go with what is in my updated passage for now.
Apr
13
comment Potential confusion: referring to home planet as “Earth”
Thanks Dale. Usually when I go back I find these "info dumps" and try to see if I can fit them in like you said.
Apr
13
comment Potential confusion: referring to home planet as “Earth”
Well I decided some Latin wouldn't go down too bad and changed it "Solum". Fits a lot better.
Apr
13
comment Potential confusion: referring to home planet as “Earth”
Considering the possibly that it may at least be referenced or even travelled to (technological marvels not withstanding) you have a point. It may get messy.
Apr
12
comment What makes a good action scene?
I think the idea is valid, but the question is made like a discussion.
Apr
12
comment How to practice location descriptions
Xeno, this looks like a fantastic way to know the different experiences that your character could "write" about. What does he see, hear, smell and feel, and which combination of his experience should I then convey to the user. Thanks!
Mar
22
comment Are complex sentences uncommon or unwanted in English?
One could reference "KISS" in this.