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visits member for 2 years, 10 months
seen Apr 7 '12 at 21:28

Dec
15
asked How to further improve the flow and crispness in the essay?
Nov
29
revised Does this essay demonstrate flow, clarity, and passion?
deleted 807 characters in body
Nov
29
comment Does this essay demonstrate flow, clarity, and passion?
Your feedback is great. I was just wondering if you have any comments in the last paragraph in my essay?
Nov
25
comment Does this essay demonstrate flow, clarity, and passion?
Sound good to me.
Nov
25
awarded  Supporter
Nov
25
comment Does this essay demonstrate flow, clarity, and passion?
Does not sounds to broken into parts?
Nov
25
comment Does this essay demonstrate flow, clarity, and passion?
I tried to do a parallel structure. do you have anything in mind on how to break it into parts?
Nov
25
revised Does this essay demonstrate flow, clarity, and passion?
added 190 characters in body
Nov
25
comment Does this essay demonstrate flow, clarity, and passion?
Thanks for the initial observations. I was just wondering which sentences draw most of your attention about being to long winded.
Nov
25
revised Does this essay demonstrate flow, clarity, and passion?
added 2726 characters in body
Nov
25
comment Does this essay demonstrate flow, clarity, and passion?
@justkt. Thanks for the edition. It fits better the guidelines of the forum.
Nov
25
asked Does this essay demonstrate flow, clarity, and passion?
Nov
3
revised Paragraph flow, verb inversion and last sentence tone
deleted 6 characters in body
Nov
3
awarded  Editor
Nov
3
revised Paragraph flow, verb inversion and last sentence tone
new edition of the paragraph
Nov
3
comment Paragraph flow, verb inversion and last sentence tone
Lisa, thank you so much for your answer. It is truly fantastic. I have edited my question to include the new structure in case someone wants to check a newer version.
Nov
3
awarded  Scholar
Nov
3
accepted Paragraph flow, verb inversion and last sentence tone
Nov
3
awarded  Student
Nov
2
asked Paragraph flow, verb inversion and last sentence tone