9,395 reputation
1230
bio website dalewriting.dale.emery.name
location Sacramento, CA
age 55
visits member for 3 years, 4 months
seen 4 hours ago

I write fantasy, science fiction, and mystery stories.

See my dalewriting and dalefiction blogs.


Nov
11
answered How to avoid repetitive sentence structure?
Oct
26
answered Adding Detail/“Filling” the story
Oct
22
answered Is an anthology a valid NaNoWriMo entry?
Oct
14
answered “I have/am” what are other short ways to not repeat this in a cover letter?
Sep
21
awarded  Nice Answer
Sep
21
awarded  Custodian
Aug
16
answered Deciding whether to use a dialogue tag or an action tag in a dialogue
Jun
24
answered How to distinguish if a novel is science fiction or fantasy?
Jun
21
revised How does joint authorship work?
added 14 characters in body
Jun
21
answered How does joint authorship work?
Apr
12
answered How do you find your unique style?
Apr
11
answered What would sections of a book that are larger than a chapter be called?
Apr
9
answered How to write polite deadline email?
Apr
3
answered What should be put on scene notecards? (for novel writing)
Mar
30
answered Floating vs Float
Mar
15
answered Need help to rephrase this sentence to prevent a run-on
Mar
7
awarded  Nice Answer
Feb
28
awarded  Enlightened
Feb
28
awarded  Nice Answer
Feb
26
comment How can I make this essay more succinct?
The two examples of "passive voice" that you mention are not passive voice. Passive voice means that the subject is the recipient of the action. That is not the case in either example. I do agree that helping verbs (and "to be" in general, even mine in this comment) leave sentences kinda wimpy, and that strengthening the main verb usually improves a sentence. And I agree with your advice in all of your examples.