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visits member for 3 years, 4 months
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Sep
13
comment Is repetition justified in the following piece?
I was following Hemingway's advice, "Write sober, edit drunk."
Sep
13
comment Is repetition justified in the following piece?
Oh you're right. Thanks for pointing that out. No more drunk editing.
Sep
11
comment Changing the way one addresses a character in a dialogue to create variation
@Joe oh I think you are confused because I didn't add italics. The original text has italics.
Sep
11
comment Changing the way one addresses a character in a dialogue to create variation
@Joe thanks I'll consider that for the next draft
Sep
9
comment Is it better to have a deadline?
@ Monica Cellio OK, done. Hope that's enough.
Sep
8
comment Ways to refers to two people who were about to marry or just married
Ha, this question passed through all the SE writing/language sites.
Aug
28
comment Tips to identify “noise” or “clutter” in your story
is there any place I can read your stories? I would like to check them out.
Aug
27
comment Tips to identify “noise” or “clutter” in your story
@Aerovistae Thanks! Murakami is my favorite author. Where did he say that? From the book "What I Talk About When I Talk about Running?"
Aug
16
comment What's a minimum recommendable word-count to generate sales in Amazon Direct Publishing (ADP)?
@Jonathan yeah, I already published it: amazon.com/dp/B00E3J3X58/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_0fKdsb00PSW68 Got downloads and some reviews. Amazon is amazing!
Aug
14
comment Does this passage break the rules of telling and not showing?
@Seanny123 By the way, I read the whole story. I suggest you to start the dialogue with "Listen, I have a proposal for you..." the part before that is unnecessary (try avoiding small talk as much as possible). Or tell it instead. The phone call was a good opening try to exploit that.
Aug
12
comment Would it be annoying for the reader if the all the scenes alternate between “present” and flashback?
Thanks for the feedback. Well, the reason I'm doing this is because the flashback scenes are too many, and there isn't much going on in the "present" (just the main character wandering in his apartment). And the story begins with the call, because that's the hook.
Aug
12
comment Does a character have to define himself to be engaging?
@Seanny123 Glad I could help! By the way, don't put (or push?) your stories on github.com! Post them on scribophile.com. You'll receive invaluable feedback (talking from experience).
Aug
9
comment Writing an effective summary for a story
@Fortiter How about the edited version of the summary? (added to the question above).
Aug
8
comment Writing an effective summary for a story
@Psicofrenia Thanks I appreciate that. Me too, I can't read on the screen for too long (but curiously I can write for five hours straight). I often download and print novels. A4 paper, horizontally, with text in both sides. Then set the font to Palatino Linotype/16px. Yeah, you feel like reading a handout. But well, better than reading from the screen (and yeah, I know, I should buy the book. But I'm barely keeping up with my rent these days).
Aug
8
comment Writing an effective summary for a story
@Javeer Baker Well, I'm a designer and I'm fan of minimalism, so my designs tend to be simple and to the point. The cover has to do with the story. SPOILER Saki is a male who wishes to have a female body. That's why I decided to use the maniqui of a woman to symbolize that. And for the bikini, well, the story takes place in a beach. That's OK, though. We all have different taste in design (as well as in writing).
Aug
8
comment Writing an effective summary for a story
@Fortiter OK, I'll consider that. But I don't see how Saki's Sixth Finger gives away the plot completely. Yes, it tells you the protagonist has a sixth finger, but a series of events follow because of that (not to mention that the extra finger is really a metaphor for something even bigger).
Aug
7
comment Writing an effective summary for a story
@Javeer Baker Well, I think the Amazon Book Description should work pretty much like a teaser?
Aug
3
comment Ways of presenting a metaphor/simile/analogy
@Lauren Ipsum OK, I'll rethink the passage.
Aug
3
comment Ways of presenting a metaphor/simile/analogy
@Lauren Ipsum Thanks for the feedback. (1) Well, he was at peace before reaching orgasm (that's why I added "Nana continued moving for a few more seconds"). (2) Yeah, you're right I forgot to add naked. I wanted to say: naked like two newborn infants. Ha, who knows. Maybe sex could be a traumatic experience for some.
Jul
31
comment Is the following analogy effective and clear?
I wrote it a few months ago. Then worked in other projects to let it "cool down." Now I'm just editing the parts I'm unsatisfied with.