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5

Write "ha ha" if you want those words spoken, but not for laughter. Vera rolled her eyes. "Ha ha. Very funny." Actual laughter is a nonverbal sound and is better described. Vera's eyes widened. "You mean you—" A roar of laughter escaped her mouth. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and her body shook. I wouldn't normally spell it out, just ...


2

Your first example is the best, but I would avoid using "exclaimed" - it's generally better to stick with "said" all the time, as words like "exclaimed" tend to draw attention to themselves and away from the actual dialogue, where the focus should be. I would recommend: Stu laughed and said "So the bug turns into the robot." or simply: Stu laughed. "So ...


0

Without the context of the character, B's lines seem a little stilted. Possibly because the last sentence is a bit long...taking out a couple of phrases might do the trick. It also makes me wonder if you're telling rather than showing something about the relationship between these characters, so that might be something to look into. (Contrast with: "Just ...


-2

Filler words can help you reach a higher word count, but if you want to be more concise, delete them. I find that filler words can help in rough drafts, but in final drafts, they sometimes detract from the power of the sentence. For example: "This was founded. So people came" is slightly less powerful than "This was founded. People came." It has to do ...


1

I don't think soften is quite the right word for what these kinds of words do, nor is filler. I think of them as signal words. They indicate to the reader what direction the text is about to take. They are like the curve signs on the highway. The signs don't make the road curve. In this sense they don't add anything. But they alert the driver/reader that a ...


0

Sure, go ahead. However, you might want to think about adding some Indian cultures into the mix, just to make it interesting. But then again, this is your book, and of course you can write it however you want. I wrote an entire book with made-up traditions that make no sense in the current world, so do whatever you feel like.


0

Maybe, but I don't know the context: She only loves you for your money. Well, a self-proclaimed authority on gold-diggers. I never realized all women were sociopaths, but I'll take your word for it.


0

I'm reminded of an article I read once by Isaac Asimov, a well-known science fiction writer. He said that the first fiction story he wrote was set in a small town. Friends told them that this was a bad idea, because he had lived his whole life in New York City and knew nothing about small towns. But, he said, he never learned that lesson, because he went on ...


0

Just because it's in a fantasy world with a European flavor doesn't mean that it's true European and has to be regionally or historically accurate. It's good to study up on medieval Europe so you can include subtle touches to give it a European look and feel, but you don't have to go overboard. I'm American, and I'm working on a world that has a medieval ...


0

It's fine to write about something from a language and culture very different from your own. However, you might get warnings not to do it from some quarters because it is harder to do well than writing a language and culture you know well, especially if your intended readers are people who probably know more about that culture than you do. For you to do ...


2

It's fine to write whatever you want. Go for it and see where it leads you! At this point, focus on establishing a writing habit and learning what works. If you need a guide, I highly recommend this book by the Gotham Writers' Workshop: Writing Fiction: The Practical Guide from New York's Acclaimed Creative Writing School. Also, if you're a young writer, ...



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