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14

In my opinion, the passage of a moment is better expressed by filling it with some action. To illustrate, let's rewrite your last example: "After a moment, he decided to walk west." How about this? "He looked to the east. In that direction lay nothing but the ruins of his former life. Turning away, he decided to walk west." Or: "Thinking about what she had ...


11

There's nothing wrong with phrases like "after a moment". Just be careful not to overuse them. If you find yourself writing: Al entered the room. After a moment, Sally entered also. A moment later, Al said, "Oh, Sally, it's you." Sally paused for a moment ... Using the same word or phrase (other than an article, pronoun, or short preposition) ...


8

I had a similar problem with my book, since it was aimed mainly for Portuguese speakers but the two main Portuguese speaking countries - Brazil and Portugal - have really different cultural scenes and even the language is somewhat different. In some cases, I had to use footnotes and explain outside of the narrative what somethings were. At other points, my ...


8

In many cases, "I think"/"you think" can be removed. In some cases, such can be replaced with "believe", "know", "am convinced", or the like when seeking to communicate personal sentiment, involvement, or expertise (i.e., when "I think" would be meaningful but not quite fitting). If there is a desire to communicate uncertainty, one can use "seems", ...


7

In either case, there's something missing — or maybe it's because the sentence is out of context. Just to say someone washed his hands like a surgeon is insufficient; you need more detail. "He scrubbed his hands for over two minutes" or "thoroughly" or "with meticulous care" like a surgeon etc. They do have different effects. The first one puts your ...


7

Lucile Vaughan Payne's classic guide to the essay, The Lively Art of Writing, calls out "I think" specifically as weak writing. Now, it's been nearly 30 years years since I read this estimable guide, but to the best of my recollection, she says that writing "I think" is akin to saying timidly, "What I think isn't very important, but anyway what I think ...


7

Again not the answer you're looking for, but it depends! Don't put in swear words for the sake of it, but when they add strength to a piece of dialogue then go ahead. So when a man kills a man in front of another man is it better for that other man to say "What was that for?" or "What the fuck was that for?" Note the increased impression of anger here? I ...


7

There are many synonyms to but. For the meaning you are pointing out in your question, some of them would be still, nevertheless, nonetheless, though, although, and yet. You can find these and the ones for the other meanings in any site with synonyms lookup function, such as Thesaurus ("but" synonyms). However, it should be noted that it can be ...


6

Part of it depends on your character. Is he one to toss around profanity like a kid playing catch? Or is this unusual for him? Do you want the "shock value" of using the actual word? Personally I prefer writing (and reading) the more creative phrasings authors use to cover up the profanity She swore, using words no proper young lady should know and that ...


6

If these are insignificant details, footnotes or mentions by characters are okay. If these are more central to the story but not likely to be widely known, a cabbagehead may ask for detailed information. If it's central to the story, the culture and all characters, something quite a bit too common for a cabbagehead to ask, or too broad to answer, write a ...


6

I am reminded of the anecdote about Dustin Hoffman torturing himself for Marathon Man because he was a "Method" actor, so he'd look as tortured as his character. Lawrence Olivier looked at him and said, "My dear boy, that's why they call it acting." Whenever we write, unless we're writing an autobiography, we are always putting ourselves into someone ...


6

Don't over-complicate things. You are an Author. "Authored by _." It would make more sense for you to write, "As told by (grandmother's name). Translated by (daughter's name). Authored by (your name)." Use an introduction to tell how this story came to be, which will explain each of your roles and your motivations.


6

When I hear market, I see a teeny tiny bit of organization, stacks of fresh oranges, an early morning crowd and a women talking about inviting her husband's boss and his wife over for dinner. When I hear the word bazaar, I see a dense street; stalls lining up on both sides of the street, aromas of different spices, a dense crowd and a fast chase scene. It ...


5

I think it's pretty much by ear. You have to go with what sounds good. In this case, the writer thought "people" was important enough to repeat. I happen to agree with you that "them" would have been sufficient, but sometimes the repetition works. For example: government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. ...


5

I think you need to consider the context. Is the swearing important or decorative? "James swore under his breath" is not the important part of that scene; the important part is that he can't find the USB stick. But Anthony snarling, "I've had enough of your bullshit" actually is the point of that line of dialogue, so using the profanity makes sense. This ...


4

In some of them you can just drop the "I think." You can also use dialect, slang, or regionalisms. You can do it. In my opinion, you can do it. You really should take a break. You really should get some rest. Can you break that? Betcha can't break that. Not in my book. Not on my block! Can't see it from my house!


4

I often run into this problem too. I think in the end it usually sounds redundant anyways but I use phrases like "the data suggest" or "the results suggest" in the discussion and in the introduction I usually just state the claim without attributing it to myself since it's assumed it is "this study" (unless it's cited information). You don't technically have ...


3

The border between Metilda and Lauren's answers is fuzzy and depends on how much of editing you did. If you took the story nearly verbatim, translated it, polished rough edges, added some preface and made it a smooth reading, you're the editor. If you retold that story, say, changing POV, making a set of memories into a smoothly flowing novel leaving no ...


3

Looking in the dictionary, the word bazaar is a marketplace especially one in the Middle East. Those Indian writers might be accustomed in using the word "bazaar" instead of "market" (although India is not actually part of Middle East). Another definition of bazaar is (esp in the Orient) a market area, esp a street of small stalls. Bazaar is used ...


3

In my current story, a character just came into a room and saw our protagonist standing among a room full of dead bodies. In utter shock and fear (as he had no expectation of this) he proclaimed "What the fuck did you do?" I don't think without the included profanity, the scene works. He hardly is a character to throw around profanity in regular ...


3

I'll repeat the main point I tried to make in the thread you referenced: Regardless of how you think this character would actually speak in real life, and regardless of your own opinions about profanity, there are many people who find profanity distasteful or offensive, and who will not read a book if the quantity or intensity of profanity passes a certain ...


3

If you want to appeal to an universal audience, you should talk about universal problems. You can use footnotes and very detailed descriptions but if the readers don't relate to them (because they don't identify with your culture) then it's probable that they won't find any appeal in your story. Regarding your case, I think the concept of dreams as ...


3

Honestly, I don't see the problem with many of the uses in your example. The first example reads well. In the second I would remove the first "but." The third and fourth sound fine to my ears. I second the advice that too much variety is potentially more distracting than the repetition.


3

Trying to avoid the word "I" often leads to convoluted prose. The active voice and use of "I" result in easy-to-read, unambiguous sentences. So unless the style guide of your university forbids the use of "I", I wouldn't worry and use the active voice. Here's an example of a thesis style guide that recommends the use of active voice.


2

It does impact how you write, and possibly your ability to write, but not always in a predictable or positive sense. At first it might seem that it's easier to write about a particular emotion when you're experiencing that emotion. Not necessarily. Let's assume that you can somehow work yourself into that emotional state without it seeming strained or ...


2

I guess the correct question would be "does having your text affected by your mood is good or bad"? I have no doubt that what the author is feeling affects the way he writes, just as anybody in any kind of job will be affected in their performance by the way they are feeling. It's normal to a certain point. The problem is that, what you feel, might affect ...


2

In the specific example, the use of "such ... as" ("for example"/"e.g." would likewise indicate an incomplete list) removes the need for anything like "etc.", "et al.", "and so on". Here is reworking of your example: For ease of explanation, we forge such concepts as the agent's IP, port, and sequence number.


2

This is where a thesaurus comes in handy. Here's an online one: http://thesaurus.com/browse/think?s=t The words they list as synonyms for "think" are: believe; anticipate, assume, be convinced, comprehend, conceive, conclude, consider, credit, deem, determine, envisage, envision, esteem, estimate, expect, fancy, feature, feel, foresee, gather, guess, hold, ...


2

From the moment they say their vows and for the next few months or so, a couple are called "newlyweds". During the wedding, they are called the "bride and groom". A recently-married woman is sometimes referred to as "so-and-so's bride". A couple who are soon to be married are generally called an "engaged couple". The woman is often called the ...


2

The number one rule of writing is know your audience. In this case, you have a very specific audience - perhaps one or two people initially. So why not put on your "investigator's hat" and call them up and find out exactly what they want? First get some practice calling some other universities, and get a little more experience in the kinds of questions ...



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