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11

You really should not go by Dickens. There are trends and fashions in writing, and what was en vogue two hundred years ago is not necessarily the best model for commercially successful writing today. If I look at contemporary writing, the predominant viewpoint changes with the category. More "high browed", literary fiction is often written in third person ...


9

The trick here is to bend the rules without breaking them. Including something that the PoV character doesn't know about is technically 'breaking the rules.' But when writing, you have to remember that reader experience trumps all. As long as it doesn't jar the flow, you can get away with something small. For this example, I would simply say what Boy says, ...


8

If the character knows the vital detail, and if the vital detail matters to the character, and you want us readers to be deeply inside the character's head, you have to give the detail. Otherwise, when you reveal the detail, we suddenly discover that we were never really deeply in the character's head after all. If we were, then we too would have known the ...


6

A different slant on things, but Ayn Rand's Anthem has a non-supernatural hive mind (collectivism gone mad, I guess) and she shows it by using collective pronouns even for individuals. So instead of "I" she uses "we", even when there's only one character involved. I hate the book, but the pronouns were interesting. You might also want to check out Ancillary ...


6

The very first story I ever wrote was written from the perspective of a collective mind. So, as they say on /b/, this question is very relevant to my interests. I would approach the concept of an intergalactic hive mind from the perspective of sociology, neuropsychology, and biology. A hive of bees can be considered as a single organism: only the queen can ...


5

Here's a thought: would the infected members of the population even be aware that there is a hive mind of which they are a part? Sure, they experience extreme empathy and are subconsciously driven to act in ways that benefit the whole, but perhaps there is an individual experience that is largely oblivious to the organizing structure in which it is ...


5

David Brin's Uplift series has the traeki/Jophur, which are physically connected hive minds of stacked rings. Each ring is nominally a separate entity; the distinction between traeki and Jophur is the presence of a so-called 'master ring', basically an overriding personality which controls the other parts of the hive mind. As the species is only one of the ...


5

I think it is possible to pull this kind of thing off. In this particular instance the intriguing idea of keeping their relationship secret for a while would obviously change what details, memories, etc. you can delve into during inactive periods, but if done right this could lend a strong hand to grabbing the reader's interest sometime in the middle or end ...


4

I would have thought that alienation and insanity are much better done using the first person than the third: you see what the character is thinking and feeling. The reader can be the judge of what is rational and what isn't, given the same information the character has. It doesn't mean the character is right. It doesn't mean the reader is right. Tension can ...


4

(This might get good answers on WorldBuilding SE also.) I think you have to decide, from a storytelling viewpoint, how these people communicate. Does each individual have his/her own thoughts but others pop in and out like everyone is always in the same room and thinking out loud? Do you only hear the thoughts of people within X geographical distance? Or is ...


4

I like to use a lot of dialogue. It draws the reader in. Narrative: Joel didn't like riding the school bus. He was the last one on in the morning, and the seats were always filled. Because he wasn't one of the popular kids, no one made an effort to make room for him. Invariably, the bus driver would yell for him to sit down and the other kids would laugh. ...


4

I like to write in past-tense very close 3rd person. It's almost like 1st person mentally, but the action is viewed as if from a camera. There are several ways to increase closeness: Repeatedly using them as a (or THE) POV character. Having two makes it closer than if you have 5 POV's. Strictly limiting what is perceived to that character, and not going ...


4

To me, it would make no difference to the emotional picture painted to have Girl hear Boy's words from behind her (thus keeping to her POV) but be too distracted to respond to them or think about them. Girl suppressed panic as she searched her handbag for her car keys. "Sure, great. Shall we get together here …" The keys, the keys. Oh, thank ...


4

A few possibile viewpoints: An omniscient narrator who describes what the machine does and says. One of the nearby sentient beings, when any are available to observe the machine's important actions or communications. Reports from someone who pieces together the machine's communications and actions from available evidence after the fact.


4

Write it as data inputs and responses. INPUT: USER 1 enters room RESPOND Y/N? Y OUTPUT_$content: {greeting}; {Salutation: 'Good'} {TOD: 1415, 'afteroon'}; INPUT: USER 1 response {"Good afternoon yourself. Did you finish compiling that report?"} SEARCH_DB6b.46: report {SMITH, CHARLES: activities prior 72 hours}; LOCATED COMPLETE Y/N? N ET COMPLETION: 4.7 ...


3

I put some extra thought into it, Justin. Hope I can help: Does each character have their own compelling story? It is not enough simply for Robin to have a story outside of Batman. It seems to me that a third-person omniscient choice would be better at least for the Robin side of the story in this scenario. Is each character equivalently important? The ...


3

How about: Girl left him standing there, knowing their relationship was tenuous. She had no choice; she had to get back to the hospital. What she didn't hear, but would've left her with a small sense of comfort, was "Uh yeah, I would love to."


3

Two things: 1) Be aware of how you refer to your main character. The names make a huge difference. Use "he" and "she" as much as possible without causing confusion because the reader can imagine themselves as that more so than a name. Titles create the most distance (Officer, Detective), last names less so, and first names are the closest you can come to ...


3

(1) explaining the thoughts of a character other than the protagonist (2) depicting events from which the protagonist is absent (3) depicting the protagonist in non-conscious states (i.e., sleeping, dead… I guess) Those are just a few. You can think of it this way: could your protagonist narrate this prose to his- or herself in the third-person? (Maybe ...


3

If you're writing in 3rd limited, then you should only be sharing information that the POV character knows. I don't think there are any specific words to watch out for - it's more the content than the style. If there are parts of your story that absolutely MUST be shared that your POV character can't know about, you may want to look at what Rowling did in ...


3

So far as I can see, the extract you quote is having John as a viewpoint character, albeit only briefly. It is not currently hugely in fashion for writers to briefly dip into another character's head when apart from that the book has a format in which POV characters all have a significant fraction of the text to themselves. So, yes, in a sense you are ...


3

I like Kai's answer, one thing to add though is that you should make sure that you leave teasers throughout the book. Flashbacks to the two of them playing together or other clues, this is the main key to having a twist like this not feel like a cheat. When you can look back and see all the things you missed and go "of course, that's why". Think of the ...


3

This can be done in a number of ways, but it may affect the plot to your story depending on which you choose. 1. They don't know it's their brother This one is pretty straightforward. Either they are working freelance to save "someone", (perhaps they know it's royalty that they are rescuing, but have been told no more than that) and when it is revealed ...


3

You don't need to overthink this. Readers will accept whatever reality you present to them so long as it is consistent. Just create a set of rules for the robot's AI then write the character as you would for a human. For example: It can only use 100 basic words and key phrases. It will only process the world as raw data. It doesn't see colors or humans; ...


2

Also check out And Then We Came to the End, by Joshua Ferris. It's second-person, and it works. Where you seek an effective hive-mind, Ferris sought an effective Office — the collective murmurings of a bunch of coworkers. The use of second-person enables an omniscient narration — all of the events are well-known gossip, water-cooler talk — while still ...


2

I recommend Damon Runyon's short stories to you. All of them are written in the present tense, and there are plenty of flashbacks. Tobias the Terrible One night I am sitting in Mindy's restaurant on Broadway partaking heartily of some Hungarian goulash which comes very nice in Mindy's, what with the chef being personally somewhat Hungarian ...


2

Immediacy and Connection with the Protagonist. Because the audience is given the experience of being “inside” the protagonist’s head, there is a direct link between protagonist and the audience. Emotions don’t become filtered through the distance of a third person narrator, instead the emotions happen in the moment, as the protagonist feels them. As the ...


2

It's called a "braided novel" or "braided narrative", because you have several points of view, or storylines, merging into a whole later on. For example, George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones books are like this.


2

A few years ago, I enjoyed reading the Maximum Ride series by James Patterson. It has a total of nine books, I believe, and follow the adventures of a group of kids. As the series progresses, we mainly follow one protagonist, but it begins to split off into many different chapters with many different POVs when the characters begin to move apart ...


2

It would entirely depend on the story you want to tell. Single POV If you are focusing more on the character development of your MC throughout the story, then definitely keep it from their POV. In order to get the reader to connect and empathize with the character, it would be better for them to experience the same confusion/ shock that is felt by the ...



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