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1

I've heard that suspense isn't about WHAT will happen, but about WHEN it will happen. When will the bomb under the table go off, when will the rival candidate's rigging of the polls be found out? If at all? Anyway, to answer your question, you might want to increase the stakes--if the campaigner doesn't win, the rival will do something bad. You might want ...


3

I have a few ideas: Every word matters. Avoid adverbs, information dumps, and descriptive adjectives to the greatest extent possible. Still make it a "play of three acts" but with the first act being a single paragraph describing the protagonist, the antagonist, and the problem to be overcome. To build suspense quickly, we need to know right away what the ...


1

This seems almost too simplistic to make a good answer, but if your problem is that you can't generate suspense in a very short story, make the story longer. Alternatively, decide that the story is fine the length it is, and just accept that such a short story does not require suspense. The reader doesn't spend enough time with the characters to care about ...


0

It is hard to describe great pain if you've never felt it yourself. It is better to write scenes like this in an omniscient POV, because you can focus both on the feeling itself and on what is happening. If you were in a first-person POV, the focus would be more on the pain. Here are two examples: Then the knife slashed at my arm. Pain erupted, blocking ...


1

You could attempt a backstory for the character in a chapter. I wouldn't go for expalining the magical aspect too much, but rather explain the way he solves his problems with his ability and how he overcomes the limitations of the same. It also depends if you're going for "Hard Magic" or "Soft magic" or somewhere in between. Think if you want to approach ...


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Writers seem to believe that readers need every last bit of detail in order to realize the author’s vision. But the truth is, readers aren’t actors who need direction in how to act out a scene exactly. In fact, some of the best performances in acting are the result of the actor winging it or otherwise improvising. Give your readers a chance to improvise. ...


1

Personally, I find this style of dialogue (and even when it's done in other media) extremely annoying and (as a father of three) completely unrealistic and unrepresentative of how children speak. Certainly, some children have trouble with speech and pronunciation, however it's not as cartoonish as often implied. A stammer or stutter is not, however, ...


0

Perhaps to see more deeply into the villain's character, you could write about what he is doing when he is not just sitting beside his desk delegating...his decisions there impact Anna, but what leads to those decisions? Does he make one decision because of something that irritated him at breakfast? Is catching Anna on his mind at other times, like when he's ...


3

As someone with a speech impediment myself (far more pronounced as a child) I cringe reading this type of dialog. If it's important to the story, perhaps you could describe the type of impediment (like mixing up w/l sounds in this case) or have another character comment on it (for example if the child is being mocked, the other character might use "wiv" in ...


2

Just write the children's dialog normally. Intentionally misspelling chunks of text makes reading difficult and slow. (And if reading a story is too hard, I'm putting the book down.) If it's important for a character to have a speech problem, just tell us what it is. We're pretty good at interpreting the words on the page into the character's voice. See ...


1

How about going with this♪? Possibly with the note raised as superscript. After an initial description it serves as a reminder to the reader.


1

i find this type of writing very quickly irritating. If you ask the reader do do an extra effort understanding what you write, you break the narrative flow. Use phonetic writing mininimaly, and only if you have to.



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