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6

Stage business. B takes a drink. C eats something. B lounges back in his chair, looking thoughtful as he listens. C winks at the serving guy. B rolls his eyes at something the protagonist said, and C smacks his arm to make him stop. B plays with a coin, a ring, a belt loop. C starts polishing her knives. Imagine that you're watching the scene in a movie. ...


6

Write the scene where the protagonist takes a tour. That shouldn't take too long to do, and it'll probably help you firm up your idea of the layout of the place in your own mind as well. Write the heist. Now try putting the two together. There's at least 4 outcomes I can think of: It works great with the separate layout descriptions first. Keep it like ...


6

Keep in mind that a book is not a movie (yes, this sounds trivial and stupid, but bear with me). Movies uses images so they are easy imaginable. Opposite to that producing images in the reader's head is the hard part. And you want to produce these images and make them rememberable without the interesting, thrilling action (the heist) you need it for? Well, ...


4

End the first scene with some marker that the readers will remember. A vivid sensory detail, maybe. Or an emotional reaction. A statement or quip. Something that clearly marks the situation as the first scene ends. For example, notice something peculiar about the demon's hands, something the character notices and reacts to. When you pick up again, reconnect ...


3

Watch the show Leverage. (It's about five criminals who turn Robin Hood, and they spend quite a bit of time breaking into buildings and stealing things.) Watch the entire first season, at least. Take notes on how often you get the layout of the place before it's broken into and how often it's not necessary.


3

Provide a map. If the layout of the building is really important, give the reader a map to follow. It's an ancient and proud tradition in books of all sorts, not just mystery/heist novels. Doesn't have to be really detailed, a sketch of the floorplan is usually all that's needed. It's a skeleton on which the reader can hang the flesh of your in-text ...


3

In many movies and novels there is a scene where the heist is planned. Bankrobbers don't usually spontaneously draw their guns when they pass a bank on their way to the supermarket. They have to have a pretty good idea of who will be where at what time, if the heist is supposed to work. So they plan. And this planning phase can be used to describe the ...


3

If you want that in deep detail, provide a tour. If you want to cut on detail a little, make a scene of pre-heist briefing (or security briefing if that's the narrator's side). The leader describes key elements, may show footage - photos or video of more important elements, may show images - that way you can fine-tune the amount of detail you convey as you ...


2

Smart remarks and sarcasm. and given that this is military recruitment trite maxims are great. "... and Then the king -" "fell flat on his face," B interrupted. "no, no, no that only happens when some one important is watching," said C. P tried to get things back on track, "proclaimed that the princess -" "is as ugly as the frog she married," ...


2

Location, in a novel, is a protagonist. Protagonists act. If they are not taking part in an action, they don't appear in that section of text. If the location does not take a meaningful part in the action, it must not appear in the text. Example with person: Your novel is about John and Hannah. In the present scene, John goes to the supermarket alone. You ...


2

I think a good rule of thumb would be: Up-front, in preparation, the story can characterize one or two major challenges the heist will need to overcome. That's enough to whet the reader's appetite and to build anticipation. It's also enough to allow you to write very quick explanations while the action is happening. If we know the bank is patrolled by ...


1

I don't believe description "on the fly" will slow the pace. It's more likely to keep the action immediate. Your characters will have done their research in advance; consider using the research scene(s) to lay the geographical groundwork without going into huge detail. (One or a few points will be challenging because...) Then, in the event, the group's ...



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