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At its strictest, iambic pentameter is just as rigid as you've described. "Poetry" is a dactyl (X-/-/), not an iamb (/-X), hence it shouldn't fit anywhere in an iamb-only sequence. Likewise, by the "strictest" definition, each word has a single primary stress, making the use of many polysyllabic words impossible by definition. That said, "stress" seems to ...


It's "whereas." It's a formal and slightly clunky word. Plus you're using the exact same sentence structure twice in a row, but only twice. Once is fine, and three times is an effect, but two looks like a mistake. Kate’s problem had been physical, but mine had been psychological. She had been motivated by an excess of sensations. My problem was a lack ...


Just as a side note, I would alter the second/third sentence to this. I was beginning to like her more. I also realized we had some things in common, like our attempts of suicide. "Like" should be part of the previous sentence. With that in mind, the two examples in Lauren Ipsum's answer are great. Here's another: I smiled and gave her a nod. I ...


Secondary stress in poetic meter gets promoted (or emphasized) when surrounded by non-stressed syllables: His po e try was bad vs. His po etry hurt Linguistically speaking the English language has 3 or 4 levels of stress (depending on who you ask). Poetic meter only has two however - thus it is the relative level of stress that matters.


It might be worthwhile to read different styles of contemporary poetry, looking for examples that are clear but have a sense of rhythm that appeals to you. Leaving aside the KJV Bible, it's worth remembering that Edward Bulwer-Lytton was an very popular and successful author in his day, with a style people loved, but now his prose style is a joke, with an ...


The language in your question is very clear and doesn't seem to use the staccato approach found in your example sci-fi piece. Why not write your sci-fi piece with your natural language, that you seem to have used for your question? I believe that would solve your problem, because you seem to be a clear concise writer -- from your question's example. If ...


Cheat. Drop some letters/syllables. It's true, in po'try, it cannae be changed (Feels like "can" needs another unstressed after it, doesn't it?)

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