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1) Break your habit of long sentences. They are mentally exhausting. Try reading your sentences out loud and see how often you have to stop to take a breath, or if you can remember the beginning of the sentence by the end. 2) You have a comma splice in your example. He blinked unconsciously, leaning forward intrigued by what was going to happen, and ...


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Comma placement is definitely crucial to the meaning of a sentence. In your case, I think sometimes the best choice is to simply break up your sentences into a few shorter ones. Watch out for run-ons and comma splices. Side note: In your example sentence, "unconsciously" should be changed to "subconsciously".



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