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7

No, I love it. I think it's great. The narrator is sort of echoing the perspective of the the person being observed, and you're absolutely right that the two characters see things differently and speak differently. Having a different narrative "voice" for the two of them is a subtle way of showing the reader their worldviews before they even open their ...


7

Personally I wouldn't change from third to first person in the middle of the story, it's always a little bit jarring for the reader. That being said, maybe being jarring is what you want in this case. It would make the flashbacks stand out. Being in first person for the flashback would also make it feel more personal, something you might want for that ...


7

I'm sure at this point someone will say, "You can't make broad generalizations about what ALL men or ALL women do or think or feel!" Which of course is true if taken literally. But we certainly can say that MOST men do X or MOST women think Y. We're different ... and vive la difference! Men certainly do have feelings and care about other human beings. The ...


6

Unlike a work of prose, which has a generally accepted predefined length (be it a short story, novella, novel, etc.) poetry is not governed by such precepts. Poetry is akin to art. A white canvas with a single stroke of paint on it can be a painting, if that is the intention of its creator. A poem can be any number of words, or just one, or even one letter, ...


6

Well, the simple answer is yes, if your story needs it you should switch POV as often as needed. Naturally of course it's more complicated then that. The point of view is are windows into the story, we see it through those eyes and learn all that happens via it. If the story is small, where one character can see and interact with most events, it makes sense ...


6

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card did something like this, although they weren't quite integral to the plot. The entire story was told from Ender's point of view, but the beginning of each chapter had a radio transmission or other news-type broadcast that was talking about the current events in the rest of the world, outside his secluded space station. But ...


6

Have you ever read Trainspotting? That, IMO, is an example of tons of perspective changes executed perfectly. Really though it depends on the kind of story you're trying to tell, because lots of perspective changes definitely changes the tone. A more nonlinear story favors perspective changes, for example. Also, don't assume you're going to be losing ...


6

A different slant on things, but Ayn Rand's Anthem has a non-supernatural hive mind (collectivism gone mad, I guess) and she shows it by using collective pronouns even for individuals. So instead of "I" she uses "we", even when there's only one character involved. I hate the book, but the pronouns were interesting. You might also want to check out Ancillary ...


6

The very first story I ever wrote was written from the perspective of a collective mind. So, as they say on /b/, this question is very relevant to my interests. I would approach the concept of an intergalactic hive mind from the perspective of sociology, neuropsychology, and biology. A hive of bees can be considered as a single organism: only the queen can ...


5

Keep it plausible. The way your characters act in your universe must be authentic. Otherwise you jerk your readers out of the story. What is authentic depends on your setting. Two examples: When Little John is just a fellow, helping the main character, because he is a good fighter, then it could go like that: "Hey, Little ..." Darn. He still forgot to ...


5

David Brin's Uplift series has the traeki/Jophur, which are physically connected hive minds of stacked rings. Each ring is nominally a separate entity; the distinction between traeki and Jophur is the presence of a so-called 'master ring', basically an overriding personality which controls the other parts of the hive mind. As the species is only one of the ...


5

Here's a thought: would the infected members of the population even be aware that there is a hive mind of which they are a part? Sure, they experience extreme empathy and are subconsciously driven to act in ways that benefit the whole, but perhaps there is an individual experience that is largely oblivious to the organizing structure in which it is ...


5

We can't standardise, but we can generalise As has been mentioned, there is no standard "man" any more than there is a standard "woman". Some women are into ultimate fighting and woodwork. Some men are into cake decorating and fashion. We are all different. I'm assuming from your question though that your male protagonist is more of a standard "manly" man. ...


4

David Eddings does this in the Belgariad pentology. Main character Garion is introduced to a man whom his Aunt Pol calls "Old Wolf," and Garion decides to call him "Mister Wolf." Mister Wolf later announces to other characters, "This is what Garion is calling me, and I happen to like it, so that's what you'll be calling me for now." All the attributives and ...


4

The issue here is that you want to avoid an identity disconnect between the reader and this character. If the reader is connecting to this character only through their name, then this is not only a problem of identification but also one of a lack of style and characterization. You have a couple of ways to avoid this: Characterization: If this character is ...


4

There are obvious times when it should be done, for instance, when you have more than one main character. Asking, should it ever be done at all (current question title) is more subjective than answerable since published authors do it effectively on a regular basis. Taking a shot at summarizing your last paragraph into one question, "How can I lock character ...


4

An idea: instead of re-hashing the same scene(s) from different viewpoints, let them feed progressively off each other. A real-time description of an event can use something inherent to the event itself that moves on and touches on each involved character: a simplistic example: a rolling wheel from an accident - a character involved in the accident sees the ...


4

A poem is made of words, whether spoken or written. Words are made of sounds that are conventionally accepted by two or more people. So, while sound/s articulated and conventionally accepted by two or more people can be considered words... whether they are considered poems depends on both the creator and the recipient, speaker and listener. Here's my ...


4

You're mixing up the terms. There is the protagonist, and there is the narrator. Narration has perspective. The narrator is the voice in which the book is told. If the story is told using "he/she/they" and not "I," it's third-person. This narrative voice (perspective) can see into everyone's thoughts (omniscient) or only one person's thoughts (limited). ...


4

(This might get good answers on WorldBuilding SE also.) I think you have to decide, from a storytelling viewpoint, how these people communicate. Does each individual have his/her own thoughts but others pop in and out like everyone is always in the same room and thinking out loud? Do you only hear the thoughts of people within X geographical distance? Or is ...


4

Men have emotions. The problem in your story is how he expresses them. Writing a diary to a girl sounds like something an emo guy who plays guitar to pick up girls or cuts himself would do. Girls might think it's sweet, but most guys would say 'You did what?!' In general, guys tend to be much more direct. More believable reactions (which can be combined): ...


3

In my opinion, writing with a omniscient 3rd person character is the most difficult exercice. Since you're seem to be able to write as 1st person, I think this exercice can help you. First, try to write a scene, discussion or anything else, between at least two character with the perspective of each character to have the point of view from each ...


3

I know. So go. Doesn't that qualify? It rhymes, keeps a meter, and "says" more than it says. That's pretty much my definition of poetry. Not saying it's any good, though. Even more minimal: Hi. Bye. (Wow, that's soooo deep. The minimalism powerfully evokes the impoverishment of social interactions in a technological society, ...


3

The shortest poems are lighght and by Aram Saroyan.


3

If your issue is that you want to improve your writing when you are not writing about a personal crisis, you need to work on strengthening your imagination. You may be finding it easier to transcribe a trauma because the feelings are in your head, very alive and immediate. That's exhausting, however, and not necessarily appealing to your readers. Good ...


3

A few main points are: First person - you (the reader) have a closer relationship with the character. You are more likely to feel what they feel. (I guess :P) Second person - you are in the story, used commonly in the "pick your path" stories because it is YOU in the sticky situation, so YOU must pick the path. Third person - Gives a larger view of what ...


2

I find it fascinating when a story swaps between 3rd and 1st person. In 3rd person it is a mainly Objective writing. When 1st person, it becomes an extremely subjective writing. It brings along the facts, as well as letting you feel the characters emotions. In the first person chapters, you get shocked when the character does. In the third person ...


2

From your question, I would suggest that your best next step is to do a lot of reading. Find books and stories that are in the genre you are interested in, and read, read, read. When you feel that a particular story is effective, has an emotional impact, has characters that come to life in your mind, read it again. In your second round, though, don't read ...


2

I'm writing a limited third person novel with a few flashbacks (stories being told aloud). The novel follows character K. She asks character S about something in his past. I reveal that story through flashback instead of conversation or storytelling, and keep it third person for a couple of reasons. As you mentioned, first person feels like a quotation ...


2

George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire, aka Game of Thrones, is the biggest current example. Three dozen? perspectives and counting. Introduces a new world with a huge political social conflict. Pretty much the textbook for what you're doing.



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