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5

Like most stylistic choices, I don't think this is a problem unless you're doing it a lot. The repetition in your second example seems find because it's a deliberate echo, not an accidental one, but if you're using repetition over and over (see what I did there?), you may want to tone it down. (In the first example, I'd say the "continued" is redundant, if ...


2

Every line needs to service the plot, set an image in the reader's mind, or reveal something about the characters. If it doesn't, you don't need it, whatever beta readers think. But actions and descriptions can add weight to a conversation because they can help us visualize what's going on. And they can help set the pace; faster dialogue means less ...


1

It's not bad writing, but it is a common technique and has only light impact. So, writing with a current weakness. Consider your above examples: "The forest seemed endless." This has roughly the same effect as the previous line with the repetition but is more effective. You only need one of those lines, really. In the second example, take out the 'up and ...



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