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7

Add a little stage direction. "We read the letter." She had the grace to look a little shamefaced. "Apologies. Standard procedure." He nodded, even if his heart hurt a little to think the cops had read Tom's note. "Nothing inside suggests you're to blame. In fact, Tom didn't leave a reason."


2

Do not use the second form in narrative prose; it reads like a script. The first version is fine. You do not need to write "said" repeatedly. For example, in the second sentence of the first version you can write: I comforted him, "All I care for is you. I can't leave you here alone! Never!" The use of "however" in this sentence is weak and ...


2

Like "what" said, custom dictates separate paragraphs when speakers change while using the first form. It's also been pointed out that the two forms are context sensitive. Is it a script or a dialog in a story? But I'd like to point out something interesting. In the second form, we know Isaac is angry, and we know you are trying to help. So telling the ...



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