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6

Consider writing the local character's story as a separate scene (and perhaps a separate chapter), with clear transitions between the two timeframes: "So, how did you end up here?" Hero said. "Make yourself comfortable, youngster," Local Character said. "This is going to take a while." # <scene break> It was 1953, and my mother had just ...


4

Short answer: you can use whichever you want, and there's no need to be consistent. Long answer: you could, in theory, choose between them every time based on which works better — maybe if you really, really want to save the reveal of who's speaking until the last word for maximum punch — but honestly, I wouldn't overthink it. They're semantically identical,...


3

"Mom" and "mother" and the other variations are all common enough that alternating between them probably won't be disruptive. On the other hand, they are different, with nuances of formality and attitude - so if you're alternating between all of them, with great frequency, like you do in this sample - then yes, it does start to feel a little weird. I think ...


2

First thing of emergency treatment is vital signs and airway--blood pressure, heart rate, respirations, and pulse oxygenation of the blood. Burning gasoline will produce volatile vapors which will also cause inhalation injury to the laryngeal and pulmonary mucosa. A pulse ox less than 85% will result in intubation; otherwise supplemental oxygenation with a ...


2

In school, lots of us were taught to avoid 'said'. This is really terrible advice. In modern writing, you should definitely not look for fancy alternatives to 'said'. 'Said' is simple, effective, and does its job without distracting from your story. There's a good article on TV Tropes which explains more. The best tip I have is to write dialogue that ...


1

While through your description i assume your story is a serious one, i think your best point of reference would come from comedy. It is a common trope in comedy, specially british comedy, to have characters who don't like anyone else, or that aren't particularly interested in anyone else. Like for example Jim, from Yahtzee Croshaw comedy novel "Mogworld". "...


1

Addressing characters in dialogue: Anything goes. I usually call my mum 'mum', but I might call her 'mother' to be mock-serious. 'Queen of the Muffins'? Sure, if in the middle of some exchange it makes sense for me to call her that, as a joke, as an insult, whatever — you can put it in my dialogue. Addressing characters in the narrative: Orson Scott Card!...


1

I like to do in person research. In my experience I've had many people more than happy to let me use them as the basis for a character, or learn terms I need to know. Try hanging out at the emergency room entrance, or visiting a burn ward, and asking the patients about their treatment. A lot of my soldier jargon I get from my friends and family who are ...


1

I really like writing hospital scenes. Can't help with the treatment, but from my experience there are two types of doctors: The sugarcoat These tend to have dialogue like "You'll be just fine!" and "It's not even that bad!" The honest one These people will tell it as it is, no doubt about it. They cut right to the point, and will not lie about the ...


1

I don't believe that one is preferred over the other or that you have to be consistent. However, I do believe that they signal something slightly different, at least in certain locales. In the England I grew up in, "says Max" signals that Max's interjection is unexpected or cheeky. It might be used where a child interjects something into an adult ...



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