Hot answers tagged dialogue
Have you spent time with children? If not, and I know it's not the easiest thing to do if you don't have kids of your own, so I'd suggest watching youtube videos of kids speaking.
I'm a father of four children. Two of my daughters are this age. My son is just out of that range (15) and my straggler, my youngest daughter is under it (7). Kids this age aren't just less-educated adults. They're different. Smart kids this age may have vocabularies that outstrips some adults' - but their concerns are different. They want to know how ...
It is called "research". Just go where kids that age hang out and listen to them for a few afternoons.
I don't know if it's correct to write it or not but I had no problem with the original sentence the way it is. The description presented both the mood in the situation and also conveyed a bit of what kind of person the other one in the room is.
Your real problem is that you have dialogue, and then the narration immediately after it tells us what the dialogue just said. Remove that bit. If we don't know that John's legs are on the table (as opposed to the chair, a statue, or someone's head), move that to John's action sentence. "Please, John, do not let our urgent matters get in the way of your ...
It depends, and indeed there could argue that your question could only generate opinion based answers, and should be closed, but you are brushing against a core issue, which is how to show the differences between the world where the reader lives and the world in which the story is set while maintaining readability and understandability. This is particularly ...
It's definitely important to spend time around children if you're going to write for them, but I think it's also imperative to read things aimed at your chosen demographic. Writers for that age bracket do a lot of research in order to appeal to their target audience. The creator of TV show 'Awkward.' did a focus group with some teenagers from her old school ...
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