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"The thousand yard stare. I was standing right in front of him but I might as well have an oak." In other words tell the story from your point of view(1st person) thus "saying" nothing but what is on people's minds. Can be used to great effect when words are in fact spoken. (Drama)


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Hmm, seems to me that you've summarized the options pretty well: (a) You can describe the physical action and rely on the reader to understand what it means. "She stared at me and frowned." (b) You can have the narrator explain the meaning. "'Hey George, it's 5:00, workday is over', I said. And he looked at me, and I could tell by the look in his eyes that ...


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You tell it. Show vs tell has become a monster that is twisting fiction out of any recognizable shape. While it is often good advice for particular passages, telling is a fundamental part of the novelist's art. It it the great privilege we have over the movies. As E. M. Forster pointed out, it is what allows us to show those things that go on in the head ...


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If you have a (first or third person) limited perspective, you could show the POV character's emotional state through the descriptive details she considers noteworthy. Perhaps one of the most brilliantly executed examples I can recall for this would be the (French) poem "Déjeuner du matin" by Jacques Prévert. It begins: He poured the coffee Into the cup ...


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I would start by asking myself if that behavior 'types' the character or not. When other characters think of this character, is that the first thing that comes to mind? Is it part of the characterization? Then I would ask if the behavior or attitude I'm attempting to emote from that character can be expressed another way? Is the chuckle the typifying ...


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Possibly the underlying issue is that you're trying to portray a particular sentiment or idea, and you keep doing it in the same way. In your example, it seems that you're trying to show that Abel is attempting to get a serious point across and show his firm stance on a situation, but not being too strict or overbearing about it. Him chuckling after saying ...


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You have to be the careful type. I am annoyed with the repetition of something in your excerpt. "She wanted to fall asleep and sleep but she couldn’t sleep because she couldn’t fall asleep even though she was very tired. " This was very annoying as you have to wrap mind around it. But, I think you should go for idea, nice to try it and see respone from ...


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Proper names get capitalized. Generic names don't. Federal Bureau of Sparkly Vampires Department of Redundancy Department Imperial Dogwalkers Consortium The Sacred Order of Turnip Twaddlers The Church of Saint Spock the Pointy-Eared The United Provinces of Cumberbatch the Hiddlestoners Rebellion Judean People's Front (not to be confused with the People's ...



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