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0
votes
6answers
341 views
Does my story beginning hook the reader? (dialogue + narration)?
The following is the opening of a short story I'm writing:
Erin stared at Ruth, eyes narrowed. "There was
an earthquake last night?"
Ruth nodded. "Around 9p.m. The news says it
was a 4.3 ...
3
votes
3answers
275 views
Does this beginning hook the reader?
Guide lines Q no. 4:
This is supposed to be the opening part, but certainly not the whole of the first chapter or page for that matter... I'm not exactly sure anyone would take 30 seconds to read ...
3
votes
3answers
259 views
How to improve this introductory paragraph (to fit writting standards and grab the reader's attention)?
A clock is striking 4:00am at a
psychiatric clinic. The darkness, the
silence, and absence of people makes it
look like a morgue. A young mental
health professional is sitting in a
chair ...
2
votes
2answers
1k views
Opening paragraphs of a short story set in an aquarium
I'm writing a short story about a schoolgirl who is visiting an aquarium (this setting is connected with her past and with the conflict of the story).
Sophia found herself walking through a glass ...
1
vote
1answer
163 views
How to improve/fix this short introductory paragraph and dialog?
These are the things that I want for this introductory paragraph:
Grab the reader's attention
Create a melancholic and dark atmosphere
Inside was dark with just enough light to see shapes, and ...
