Erin went to fetch her scarf and hooded parka. Then her keys, wallet, and backpack. Ready to go. Just as she was about to exit the room, though, she looked at herself in the mirror and wondered ...
Does it sound more natural to use the character's way of speaking while describing his/her inner thoughts?
In the following example, the character is a five-year-old: Saki stared at her side. Her cousin was right: she had indeed an extra digit on one hand. How come she hadn't notice it before? ...