1
vote
2answers
355 views

Does this essay demonstrate flow, clarity, and passion?

I am applying to school and, after 3-4 weeks of thinking and writing essay iterations, I ended up with the essay below. What are your professional objectives? (300 words) I have one ...
2
votes
3answers
284 views

Please help me polish this paragraph.

I'm learning English as a foreign language. In one of my writings, one paragraph goes: But it's not saying we just indulge ourselves and turn into wild beasts. We train our brain hard so that we ...
2
votes
2answers
192 views

Critique of short essay

Basically I need some critics regarding the following points: Does this description essay archive its goal (a creepy story with a 'sappy' ending)? How is the 'rhythm' of the story (is there ...