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2
votes
2answers
64 views

Improving the flow/rhythm of the following comparison

I smiled and gave her a nod. I was beginning to like her more, plus I realized we had some things in common. Like our attempts of suicide. The difference was striking, of course. Kate’s ...
2
votes
3answers
98 views

Non-Linear Storyline: Dynamic vs. Static chapter sequence

While this question may be a little nit-picky I realize chapters do help the flow of a book, and, since I'm now plotting a novel, I figured it's a good time to ask. In a non-lineary storyline, I've ...
2
votes
2answers
819 views

Should a long flashback be written in first or third person?

In my novel there will be a chapter-length flashback as one character relates a story from his past. The rest of the novel is written in limited third-person, seeing into one person's mind at a time. ...
1
vote
3answers
158 views

Is it a bad idea to have all the action in the beginning and all the dialogue in the end?

I wrote a short story. All the action happens mainly at the beginning of the story. You can see part of the beginning in this question, and the full story here). This is the dialogue and ending (just ...
1
vote
2answers
381 views

Does this essay demonstrate flow, clarity, and passion?

I am applying to school and, after 3-4 weeks of thinking and writing essay iterations, I ended up with the essay below. What are your professional objectives? (300 words) I have one ...
5
votes
2answers
405 views

Any suggestions to improve these three introductory paragraphs of a novel I'm writing (e.g. writing style, description and flow)?

These are the paragraphs: Someone had called me at half past eleven. The phone rang six times breaking the silence and darkness of the room for about ten or twelve seconds. I didn’t pick up. ...
2
votes
4answers
114 views

How could this paragraph of writing be improved [closed]

I wrote this but it really doesn't read nicely. How could the following paragraph be improved? With the increasing green movement, subsidies for energy produced by solar panels installed on ...
2
votes
3answers
297 views

Please help me polish this paragraph.

I'm learning English as a foreign language. In one of my writings, one paragraph goes: But it's not saying we just indulge ourselves and turn into wild beasts. We train our brain hard so that we ...
1
vote
1answer
112 views

Critical review of blog post

I wrote a blog post a long time back. For this post I chose a writing style very different from what I'd read or what I'd seen before. Some guys did criticize me and others did acknowledge me for the ...
2
votes
2answers
200 views

Critique of short essay

Basically I need some critics regarding the following points: Does this description essay archive its goal (a creepy story with a 'sappy' ending)? How is the 'rhythm' of the story (is there ...