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I wrote a dialogue as follows:

Then he said to her: "I told you I won't do that! (And I think you shouldn't either)".

Somebody then asked me: How is a speech in a parenthesis?

I'd like to know if you can understand that it is something said in a lower tone, as if it didn't belong to the main line of thought or not. Is it usual in writing?

I've seen some posts such as the following and they look pretty dubious to me: http://www.writingforums.org/threads/can-you-use-parentheses-in-dialogue.61993/

The questions, then, are:

  1. Is it correct?
  2. Is it usual?
  3. Is it understandable?
  4. Are there alternatives?
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Parenthesis in conversation definitely seems like something to be used in self-thought or from the characters perspective. –  JBeck Dec 27 '13 at 1:11
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I do recall some authors doing that - especially in humorous, tongue-in-cheek works. A serious, self-respecting book will avoid that, but a humorous one? Characters may even talk in footnotes there! –  SF. Dec 27 '13 at 3:43
    
@SF. Once you're talking about a humorous book, there are an awful lot of rules which can go out the window. :) –  Lauren Ipsum Dec 27 '13 at 11:31

4 Answers 4

up vote 6 down vote accepted

Is it correct? Strictly speaking, it's not wrong, but it's really hard to hear someone saying a parenthesis.

Is it usual? No. In fact, I can't remember ever seeing it.

Is it understandable? I guess, although I would do a massive double take and think that the author was being too bookish.

Are there alternatives? Yes. I'd use M-dashes, commas, or stage business as noted in Seth Gordon's answer.

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Then he said to her: "I told you I won't do that!” In an undertone, he added, “And I think you shouldn’t either.”

Unfortunately, I think that’s the best you can do. I’ve hardly ever seen parentheses used as punctuation within dialogue, so if I saw it now, I would have no idea how to interpret them.

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1  
I'll probably follow this line of thought, although I think it is too verbose. I've seen things like this in the Bible, and in an exerpt from "Whose Body" as follows: "Bosh!" said Lord Peter. "I am retained (by old Mrs. Thipps, for whom I entertain the greatest respect) to deal with this case, and it's only by courtesy I allow you to have anything to do with it." –  ClayKaboom Dec 30 '13 at 11:08
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@ClayKaboom You might be able to get away with that structure if your entire story, including narration, is that curlicue Victorian prose, but not if you're writing in modern English. –  Lauren Ipsum Dec 30 '13 at 11:52

I agree with Seth Gordon. Parentheses in dialogue are so rarely seen, they could be interpreted in many ways. I would recommend being explicit in dialogue.

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Although rare complex punctuation can be used in dialog (although in your example I would use an em dash), but as most dialog is simple; because outside of a classroom, most of us aren't paying close enough attention to speech to get great subtleties; the normal approach is to simplify your dialog to make it easier to understand and more realistic. Two exceptions to this are language geeks (some of the things I've said need serious parsing) and technical transcripts where punctuation is implied by the speaker particularly when the topic under discussion is primarily written such as formal grammars.

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