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I love funny comparisons in newspaper articles or other texts.

I am talking about things like "exciting like a winter morning" (except funny - I don't know any good English ones).

What are the funniest or best ones you have come across?

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this forum seems dead ... pity – slashmais Dec 21 '10 at 6:43
only se site ive racked up any measurable points in too -hope it picks up and pops out of beta. – Tapper7 Nov 3 '15 at 5:59

Read Pterry (Terry Pratchett), he's got lots. One I like is how he states the difference between erotic and pornographic: it's like using a feather instead of the whole chicken.

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Douglas Adams has numerous examples.

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

"[The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."

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P.G. Wodehouse is a master of this.

"Big chap with a small moustache and the sort of eye that can open an oyster at sixty paces."

"It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine."

"His demeanour was that of a Napoleon who, suffering from toothache, sees his way to taking it out on one of his minor marshals."

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