Converting the MIT License into a limerick

Question

In 2005, Alexander Genaud created a Poetic License based on the MIT license. It consisted of 2 Limericks which attempted to distill the already meager license jargon into a fun, simple, and tiny text.

(c) 2005 Alexander E Genaud

This work ‘as-is’ we provide.
No warranty express or implied.
We’ve done our best,
to debug and test.
Liability for damages denied.

Permission is granted hereby,
to copy, share, and modify.
Use as is fit,
free or for profit.
These rights, on this notice, rely.

Later on I found this cute alteration, and decided that the wording did not afford as much protection as it possibly could have. I submitted an update request but was denied because I broke the rules of Limerick prose.

Fast forward a year and I decided to try again. I would like to know if this time I have successfully created a proper Limerick. Suggestions and improvements are also welcome.

(c) 2011 Company Name

Permission is granted hereby,
to copy, share, and modify.
 To use as is fit,
 free or for profit.
These rights, on this notice, rely.

This work ‘as-is’ we provide.
No warranty express or implied.
 Denied is our liability,
 for damage, tort, or responsibility.
Therefore all claims are defied.

I also need someone to add the correct tags to this post since I can't.

Answer 1

I'm tickled you've taking this poem further. All praise be to sharing! My intention, in classic recursion, is that the license is protected by its own terms but state that "Use of the license itself does not require its own notice."

As I understand, you are uncomfortable with "We've done our best" presumably concerned that the creators may not have "done their best". Let us then be honest!

This work 'as-is' I provide.
No warranty express nor implied.
   Just a geeky lug,
   did test and debug.
Your computer's already fried.

The leading extra syllable in "To use as is fit, free or for profit." renders the intended declarative verse grammatically incorrect. I myself was tempted to conform to the Elements of Style which advocates "For free and for profit" but this similarly chokes on verbosity and the divinity that inspired this stanza protested.

Permission is granted hereby,
to copy, share, and modify.
   Use as is fit,
   free or for profit.
On this notice, these rights rely.

This work ‘as-is’ we provide.
No warranty express or implied.
   Responsibility
   and liability
for damages and tort, denied.

Cheers! Alex

Answer 2

The first half is a correct limerick. The second, not so much. Remember the style/syllable construction of limericks.

Answer 3

The first limerick is fine. For the 2nd limerick, try these changes to the last three lines:

"Denied is our liability," has 2 too many syllables. Try:

"There's no liability," or "Denied: liability,"

" for damage, tort, or responsibility." has 4 too many syllables so try:

"for tort, damage, responsibility" (you'll have to mash that last word a bit to make it fit but reversing tort and damage picks up a syllable)

The last line has 1 too many syllables. If you can live with this, contract "warranty" (3 syllables) to "war'n'ty" (2 syllables):

"No war'n'ty express or implied."

So, what I came up with is this:

This work ‘as-is’ we provide.

Therefore all claims are defied.

Denied: liability,

for tort, damage, responsibility.

No war'n'ty express or implied.

Phew! :-) Best of luck!