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Could someone have a look at the following and see if it be can be improved.

Mike and Reed are two brothers who live with their parents. One weekend their parents go to another city. As soon as their parents leave the house, Mike goes with his friends for the night and the house is left to Reed. Reed invites some of his friends to his house to throw a party...

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Welcome to Writers.SE! I was hoping you could clarify your question a bit. Is the snippet you gave the text of a story, or a summary? If it's a summary - is it complete? It seems to trail off right when things start happening. If it's the actual text of a story - well, we want to know what it is you'd like to improve; take a look at our critique guidelines. – Standback♦ Mar 15 '12 at 4:32
I'm afraid I need to close this temporarily, until you can let us know a bit more about what you're asking. You can edit your question, or comment here; once we've got a clear question, we'll reopen :) – Standback♦ Mar 15 '12 at 4:34

closed as not a real question by Standback♦ Mar 15 '12 at 4:33

It's difficult to tell what is being asked here. This question is ambiguous, vague, incomplete, overly broad, or rhetorical and cannot be reasonably answered in its current form. For help clarifying this question so that it can be reopened, see the FAQ.

1 Answer

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It should be revised to this.

Mike and Reed are brothers who live with their parents. One weekend the parents take a trip to another city. Now that the parents have gone Mike decides to leave with his friends for the night,now his brother Reed is stuck house sitting. Reed decides to make the best of the situation and invites a bunch of his friends over for a house party.

You need more descriptive sentences as well as maybe a few things to make the story less point blank. Your readers are wanting to get to know your characters so instead of saying Reed and Mike are brothers, you could go more into length and say Reed and Mike come from a small family of Four Mike lives with his younger brother Reed his mom and dad and their tank of goldfish. Something to make your readers want to like the characters.

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