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I've been meaning to improve upon my characterization within my writings. As well as the mentioned, I also aim to build better structure and keep to it.

Tonight I'll come to see
a presence of thee
Eyes in tears
with a life that fears

Salute my dear
don't cry no tear
for there is light 
in this sorrow sight

For later fate
until you'll vacate
come to me
I'm meant to be

I chose this freestyle technique, since I see it better fit in this "romance" setting. I feel as if I accomplished my set goals, but I'd like some critique on the writing.

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Welcome! Per our critique guidelines, can you edit this to ask a question? Writers is a question and answer site, so in order for us to give the best answers you need to provide a question. Thanks! – justkt Dec 28 '11 at 20:02
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If you would like to have this question re-opened, you can edit it to conform to our guidelines and then use @justkt to let me know and it can be re-opened. Thanks! – justkt Dec 30 '11 at 15:40

closed as not a real question by justkt Dec 30 '11 at 15:39

It's difficult to tell what is being asked here. This question is ambiguous, vague, incomplete, overly broad, or rhetorical and cannot be reasonably answered in its current form. For help clarifying this question so that it can be reopened, see the FAQ.

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