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Does it make sense to write, "... May God have compassion on your family, in whole." I am attempting to rhyme the last word with the last word of the sentence prior to it. Thus, the odd--but hopefully acceptable--sentence structure.

Thank you for your help!

Sal

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closed as off topic by justkt Jan 31 '12 at 19:27

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Can you give us the prior sentence for context? –  Lauren Ipsum Dec 20 '11 at 12:38
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What is the idea you are attempting to express? Is it "May God have compassion on your whole family?" Or "May God have whole compassion on your family?" –  Jonathan Van Matre Dec 20 '11 at 12:56
    
Rather than presenting a single line which doesn't quite make sense, you may do better to edit your question and present a few lines before and after it as well, both to make the context clear and to allow suggestions about how to change other lines to avoid problems. For example, if word at the end of the previous line for which you seek a "whole" rhyme is "mole", someone might suggest using "shrew" instead, or "creature", or anyhow some word that can be rhymed with more meaningfully. –  jwpat7 Dec 20 '11 at 21:50
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And I'll add, this question is more appropriate for english.stackexchange.com ... –  Slick23 Jan 3 '12 at 16:51
    
Since rhyme is your reason, it is definitely better to chose another word that gives out a clearer meaning and preferably improves on the the first part of the sentence. see:rhymezone.com/r/… –  Kris Jan 10 '12 at 11:53
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3 Answers 3

It may sound better as

"... May God have compassion, on your family, in whole."

also the "in " may be replaced by "on the", depends on the audience of your rhyme or poem. This is just a suggestion from a fellow writer.

Thanks.

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If you can fit it, "... as a whole" is the way that phrase wants to trip off my tongue.

As well as not being quite right, "in whole" sounds too much like your family is stuck in a hole.

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The sentence structure is acceptable in English, if ambiguous. Which may be what you're going for in a poem. It is also somewhat awkward, but again, that may be what you're after. Though not a question of structure, the preposition "in" is probably not correct, though hard to say out of context. It is likely that either "on the whole" or "as a whole" is what you're looking for.

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