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People use computers for many different activities, from reading online newspapers to listening to music. No one can expect that people can use internet to make a revolution. The main part to the January 25th revolution was the internet. After the death of "Khalid Saeed" a group of cultural youth founded a web site on face book. That site played an important role to spread the awareness among youth and then they began to make a questionnaire to people who want to call for their rights to come to Tahreer Square. The revolution began with idea and completed by the announcement of the resignation to show that "If the people want to live, the destiny should respond". Finally, we can sum up by saying that modern technology as the internet and face book played great role in the 25th revolution.

Please help me to write this paragraph correctly, with particular attention to the grammar. If you can tell me what's wrong, or rewrite the paragraph correctly, I will be thankful.

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Vote to close for not following the guidelines establish for critiques on Meta: meta.writers.stackexchange.com/questions/166/… –  Ralph Gallagher Jun 8 '11 at 19:10
    
Please discuss on meta whether or not this recent guideline change is something the community wants before closing. –  justkt Jun 9 '11 at 13:25
    
Per the consensus from the discussion, proof-reading questions are off-topic. –  justkt Jun 14 '11 at 19:30
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closed as off topic by John Smithers, justkt Jun 14 '11 at 19:30

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1 Answer

I've made a few changes to the grammar, and tried to neaten up the text as best as I could while still keeping the essential meaning of what you wanted.

  • I used "Facebook page" instead of a "Facebook website", since that seemed more correct
  • I changed "questionnaire" to leaflets, as I assumed this is what you actually meant.
  • I added in "Mubarak's resignation" since it made this sentence clearer
  • I found a translation for the quote you used at the end to let it read a little better.

People use computers for many different activities, from reading online newspapers to listening to music, but no-one really expected that people could use the internet to launch a revolution. The key to the January 25th revolution was the internet. After the death of Khalid Saeed, a group of Egyptian youths started a Facebook page. That page played an important role in spreading awareness among Egypt's youth, and they then began to make and spread leaflets, calling on people who want their rights to come to Tahreer Square. The revolution began with an idea, and was completed with the announcement of Mubarak's resignation, showing that "If one day people decide to live, destiny will no doubt respond."

Hope that helps, good luck!

Update: Based on the comments below, I re-edited to remove the last sentence, and the quotes around "Khalid Saeed".

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Good edit. One thing: why is "Khalid Saeed" in quotes? I don't think it should be. Also not sure about the last sentence - it seems to be repeating The key to the January 25th revolution was the internet Maybe do away with it, or just remove the 'Finally': that sounds weird to me. –  rmx Jun 14 '11 at 14:17
    
@rmx - I left the Khalid Saeed in quotes since I was unsure what the OP meant by that, and so left it in place. You're right though, it probably shouldn't be there. You're right about the last sentence, too. I'll edit it and change it, thanks. –  Craig Sefton Jun 14 '11 at 14:24
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