Here's an outro narrative I wrote for our movie we're working on and I was wondering whether someone could provide a critique. Anything what would help improve it before we pass it to the recording stage. Thanks in advance!
Everything that we think about, everything that we do every day, all the people we meet, all the places we go to, everything that happens to us, everything we feel, all of that is predicated on the idea that we can choose things and that the future isn't written yet.
We want to believe in free will, because otherwise everything we do would have no meaning, although according to the fundamental law of the universe, there doesn’t appear to be any reason why free will should really exist. We’d need to think higher than science, would need to get spiritual, introduce a higher power into our equation. God, for example.
Whether God exists or not, I don’t know, but I believe there is some force that runs through the universe. Some call it God, others call it fate, destiny. I don’t really feel like giving it a name. I’m not even sure what happened this morning, but as crazy as it sounds, I think I’ve seen what is supposed to happen.
Somehow I’ve seen the progress of my story and I don’t really like where it ends. So what are my options here? Does destiny want me to lose, or does God want me to win? Or is it neither, just me and my choices? What do I choose? Having the luxury of choice, I’d want life, freedom, time. A lot of time. Time to live. Time to think. Time to be free. Even if it means to be alone forever. But there’s one thing I know for sure - that now we’re both awake and now we’re both alone.
More info as requested in comments:
- spoken by a 20-year-old person after he awakes from a dream where he dies
- should be sad at first, but end with some hope to it
- he also leaves her girlfriend, as he's afraid there's not much time to live and he wants to spend it with things he wants to do = he wants to be free = use all his remaining time for his own good = not share it with someone else